Fear part 2

Fear...
I fear his death...
I fear my family members' deaths...
I fear that one day,
One day...
Everyone would leave me...

I fear that I would be alone...
I fear that I would fear...
But what I fear most,
Is that I wouldn't tear...

I know one day it would come...
I know that life is vulnerable...
But I just fear...
Fear that...
My memories are not clear...

I fear...
I fear that I wouldn't cry,
Because I wish he was here to try.
I fear...
I fear that the memories left behind,
The hatred has no where to hide.
I fear...
I fear that I hate him to his death,
I fear the memories that I have.

No one is perfect,
Just like you and me...
But why bad memories are the only memories I see?
I am crying...
Not because you are gone...
Not because you are gone now..
But I am crying because I fear...
I fear that one day,
One day when you are gone,
I hate myself for not having any wonderful memories with you.

I fear that I will regret that I wish you wouldn't care...
I fear that I will regret hating you...
I fear that I will regret annoying you...
I fear that I will regret every single moment that I think that you are not good enough...
I fear that I will regret never saying "I love you".....

Can't we just be like friends?
Can't we just have great time together?
Can't we just talk to each other in peace?

I just wanted to say "I love you"...
I am so sorry...
I just can't...
Just not now...
But I fear..
I fear I will regret one day...
That day...
I just hope it wouldn't come...

Vegetarian

One of the reasons I am different from others is that I am a Vegetarian.

Some people are surprised, some avoid me.
Some make fun of me and that's not nice.
Some are curious and some ask weird questions.
I know I am different but please don't judge me because of that.

Some weird questions that I have been asked over and over again when someone found out that I am a vegetarian....

Q: "Oh so you just eat vegetables?"
A: Nope. I do have lots of choices of vegetarian meat.

Q: "Do you eat grass?"
A: Apparently you do not have a brain!

Q: "So you do not eat meat?"
A: Hello! I am a vegetarian!

Q: "What about fish (crabs?shells?)"
A: Vegetarian does not eat anything that has life.

Q: "But you are killing the plants."
A: And you are killing all the rest of the animals...

Q: "But what about the carnivorous animals?(animals are meant to be eaten)"
A: Woah...so you are comparing yourself with a beast?

Q: "Where do you get your protein from?"
A: Beans, tofu, vegetarian meat, broccoli..

Q: "Vegetarian are malnutrition."
A: "Look at my size before saying anything -.-

Q: "All vegetarian meat taste like tofu"
A: Sad for you I have taste vegetarian meat that taste like chicken, fish cake, bak kua...My 
non-vegetarian friends have proven it.

Q: "You are fighting over the food for the animals."
A: At least I am not fighting over the grains for the poor...Go and calculate how much grains/wheat are used to feed the livestock to get your meat.

Q: "Vegetarian are unhealthy."
A: Oh well...there are saturated fats in meat and none in vegetables.

But there are also others that say things that makes me proud to be a vegetarian...

Differences

They say unlike poles attract...
They say like poles repel...
They say it is the same as relationship...
But it is not what it seem...

Be it relationship between family...
Be it relationship between friends...
Be it love relationship...
Likeness attracts...

People say different is unique...
People say different is what makes you you...
People say different makes us special...
But people just don't accept differences...

Here I am different from others...
Here I stand watching others pass...
Here I see everyone that fits in perfectly...
Everyone except me...

It is hard I know...

It is hard I see...

To accept someone...

That is not the same as you and me...

It is okay...

It is alright...

So long I am...

True to those around me...

Fear

I fear many things.
I fear to see,
I fear to hear,
I fear to sense,
I fear to understand.
I fear loneliness,
I fear crowd,
I fear people,
I fear loosing.
I fear death,
I fear living,
I fear this,
And I fear that.
I fear so much,
So much so that I fear fearing.
Am I weak or am I strong?
I hide my feelings deep in me,
So that others would not know.
However, I always secretly wish
Someone out there would care to know.
I wish for a hug...
A hug that embrace me...
I wish for a voice....
A voice that tell me it's okay to fear..
I wish for a heart...
A heart that accepts me for who I am..
I show love, show care, show empathy to those around me,
I understand, I knew, I feel with them...
I know others so deeply yet no one ever knows the real me...
I did a great job playing hide-and-seek but no one ever found me..
Or will there be......?